Alright, let’s talk about this idea of symbiotic relationship psychology. It’s something I started chewing on a while back, not because I read some fancy textbook, but just from watching people, you know? Real life stuff.
It began when I was observing a couple I know. They were always together, finished each other’s sentences, the whole deal. Looked sweet on the surface. But then I started noticing little things. One person always seemed to make the decisions, the other always went along. One was always the ‘rescuer’, the other always needed ‘saving’. It wasn’t equal, but they both seemed… locked into it. It got me thinking, is this just closeness, or something else?
So, I started paying more attention. Not just to couples, but friendships, family dynamics, even work pairs. It wasn’t like a formal experiment, just me, watching and thinking during my day.
My Process of Observation
- Just Watching: I’d sit in a coffee shop or just be around friends and family, and I’d consciously observe how pairs interacted. Who initiated conversation? Who deferred? Who seemed to gain energy, who seemed drained?
- Thinking Back: I sifted through my own past relationships. Were there times I fell into these roles? Absolutely. I remembered a specific friendship where I was always the ‘problem solver’, and my friend was always the one with the crisis. It worked, kinda, until it really didn’t, and I felt totally burned out.
- Trying to Understand the ‘Why’: Why do people fall into these patterns? Fear of being alone? Comfort? Maybe it’s just easier than facing things head-on? I didn’t find solid answers, just more questions really.
- Noticing the Stickiness: The striking thing was how stuck these dynamics seemed. Even when it looked unhealthy from the outside, the people involved often defended it or just couldn’t see a way out. It was like the pattern itself was comfortable, even if it wasn’t good for them.
It wasn’t about judging anyone. Honestly, it made me look at my own interactions more carefully. Am I leaning too much on someone? Am I letting someone lean too much on me? Is this balanced? Does it feel right, not just look right?
What I sort of landed on after all this informal people-watching is that these ‘symbiotic’ setups are everywhere. Sometimes they’re genuinely supportive, where both people benefit and grow. But often, they’re more complicated. One person might be getting their needs met at the expense of the other, or maybe both are stuck in a loop that prevents real growth.
The label itself, ‘symbiotic relationship psychology,’ sounds a bit clinical. For me, it just boiled down to seeing how people connect and depend on each other, sometimes in healthy ways, sometimes in ways that hold them back. It made me realize the importance of checking in with myself about my own relationships – are they give and take? Do I feel like myself within them? That awareness, I think, is the most useful part of pondering all this.
So yeah, that was my little journey into thinking about this stuff. No big revelations, just a bit more understanding gained from paying attention to the world around me and my own experiences within it.
