Okay, so I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how we make choices, especially the big life-altering ones. It’s all tied into this idea of growing, both as individuals and in our relationships. So, I decided to dive in and really examine how I approach decisions, and maybe pick up some insights along the way. I wanted to actively track how I was feeling and what was influencing my thinking.
Getting Started: Recognizing My Patterns
First, I started by just paying attention. Like, really paying attention to how I felt when faced with a decision, big or small. Was I excited? Anxious? Totally paralyzed? I grabbed a notebook and jotted down everything – the situation, my gut reaction, and any thoughts that popped into my head.
For example, I had to decide whether to take on a new project at work. My initial reaction was a mix of excitement (it was a cool opportunity) and dread (it meant more work!). I wrote all that down. I also noticed I was worried about disappointing my boss if I said no, which was a pattern I’d seen before.
Digging Deeper: Understanding My Influences
Next, I tried to figure out why I was feeling those things. What was driving my reactions? Was it past experiences? Fear of failure? Other people’s expectations?
- Childhood stuff: Turns out, a lot of my hesitation comes from way back. I remembered being afraid of making mistakes as a kid, and that feeling was still hanging around.
- Relationship dynamics: I also realized I often prioritize other people’s needs over my own, which makes it hard to make choices that are truly best for me.
This part was tough. It meant being really honest with myself, even when it was uncomfortable. But it was also super eye-opening.
Experimenting with Change: Trying New Approaches
Once I had a better understanding of my patterns, I started experimenting with different ways of making decisions. I figured it was time to shake things up a bit.
For instance, with that work project, instead of just saying yes (or a panicked no), I took some time to think it through. I made a list of pros and cons, talked it over with a friend, and visualized what it would actually be like to take it on. I used some “feeling check ins” with myself, and documented it all.
I also practiced saying “no” to smaller things, just to get more comfortable with setting boundaries. It was awkward at first, but it got easier.
Reflecting and Integrating: Making it Stick
The final step was (and still is!) reflecting on what I’ve learned and integrating it into my life. I look back at my notes, celebrate the small wins, and remind myself that it’s okay to make mistakes.
I’ve realized that making choices is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about being more aware, more intentional, and more kind to myself in the process. And that, I think, is the key to personal and interpersonal growth.
